I'm wearing a skirt
by Yhoretta
Summary: Jamie's kilt is wearing a bit thin. The obvious solution? Go shopping! But, being a time traveller with the Doctor during the present, Jamie's about to get a glimpse at the future. Also, is the kilt really just a skirt? Oh, and the Doctor's stuck in a lift. FLUFF! (Season 6B)


**A/N: FLUFF! Follows my own personal head-cannon of Jamie having met several Doctors by this point, which was inspired by Crystal Rose of Pollux's story 'Those who help us most to grow.' Happens some time before 'the five Doctors.'  
**

* * *

Jamie looked down at the tatty kilt that he'd worn for so long. He'd washed it repeatedly, but the poor article of clothing had definitely seen better days. The piper had lost count of

"Doctor," began Jamie. The Time Lord looked up from the TARDIS console, straightening his bow tie in the process. "Do ye think we could possibly see aboot getting me another kilt? It's just tha', I cannae wear this one anymore. Look at it! There are almost as many holes in the fabric are there are in yer pockets!"

The Doctor looked Jamie up and down appraisingly, nodding as he spoke. "Yes well, alright then. I know just the place to go!"

Moments later, they stepped into a world of warm colours and fancy designs. The room was enormous, with shops peeking out between the walls and plastic plants propped up beside each. Bubbly banners hung from the ceiling, advertising this and that. Jamie took a hold of the Doctor's arm. "This is nae Scotland, is it Doctor?"

"Not quite; sorry." He smiled sheepishly, looking around. "It's a shopping mall in London, 1974, or thereabouts. I was aiming for the Scottish highlands in the year 2098; plenty of places to buy kilts there. Still, I'm sure you can find _something_, eh?."

"Aye, alright then, but ye're paying," said Jamie, releasing his grip on the Doctor's sleeve. He walked away with a backwards glanced and grumbled under his breath for a little while. People swerved to avoid the strange-looking piper as he manouvered through the crowds and found himself in a sleek clothing store. One of the employees actually asked to take a picture with him before he managed to make it to the men's section.

At a look back to the TARDIS, the Doctor had already wandered off to who knows where, so there was no turning around now. Suddenly Jamie caught a flash of tartan hidden behind the many racks of frayed jeans. He reached for it gladly and pulled to release it from the hanger, but another person's hand was attached to the other side. A small, pretty, brunette woman smiled up at him.

"Hello," she said cheerily, not letting go of the kilt. "Have you come to get this for your girlfriend?"

"Och no, it's fer me. Besides, why would I be getting a kilt for a lassie, especially in the _man_'s department?" Jamie tugged a little harder on his side of the tartan.

The woman snickered. "I think you'll find that you've actually crossed over into the female section. This is a skirt, not a," she looked at his attire, "kilt."

"Well, I couldnae find one in that other part, and I really must be getting back to the Doctor…"

"The Doctor? Is your name by any chance, Jamie McCrimmon?"

"Aye." Jamie watched her warily.

"My name's Sarah Jane Smith, I'm a friend of his. I've heard so much about you!" She shook his hand, releasing the kilt at the same time with a grin. "I just came to restock on some clothes. I see you're here to do the same." Jamie folded the kilt over his arm. He realised that she must be from the Doctor's future for him not to have heard of her. That man talked non-stop, and he would've mentioned her at some point during their almost-decade of travel together. He thanked Sarah Jane for relinquishing the kilt and turned on his heels to leave.

"Jamie!" she called, forcing him to pause. Sarah stepped in front of him. "I just wanted to say that it's an honor to meet you. Really, it is. The Doctor speaks of you often. You're very special to him."

"Thanks," said Jamie, softening. "I met him, yer Doctor, the one with the scarf I think. Aye, he bumped into me and _my_ Doctor when we were on a mission from the Time Lords. He mentioned you."

"Really?" Sarah Jane blushed happily. "What did he say?"

Jamie couldn't bear to tell her about the sorry that had laced the Doctor's tone that day. "Yer Doctor said that ye're his best friend. That he owed ye a lot. Ye're verra special to him_ too_." Sarah Jane took out her purse and linked an arm through Jamie's.

"Come on, the kilt's on me," she promised, guiding him to the counter. "Any friend of the Doctor's is a friend of mine."

"Thanks lassie," replied Jamie. He stopped for a second. "Though, if you could no' tell him tha' it's actually a skirt, I'd reeeaally appreciate it." The piper looked properly nervous, so Sarah nodded. She waved him goodbye as they parted ways outside the shop, and just for a second, Jamie caught a glimpse of the scarf-wearing Doctor. The Time Lord winked knowingly and pointed behind the piper. Jamie spun around to see his bowtie-wearing Doctor stuck in one of the lifts, their doors open only wide enough to give a glimpse. Jamie dashed over and peered into the small room.

"What're ye doing in there?" he asked.

The Doctor was pacing along the lift's four corners. "I was trying to make it go faster." Attempting to change the subject, he added, "So, did you find a kilt?"

"Aye." Jamie tried to force the doors open, but they wouldn't budge. "I guess we have a while to talk until the lifts start workin' again."

"It seems so," replied the Doctor. "How was the shop?"

Jamie hesitated. He wasn't sure if he could even _mention_ someone from the Doctor's future. Sure, he'd met most -if not all- of the Doctor's various incarnations, but something told him not to mention this girl. The Doctor would get to meet her on his own.

"Jamie?" came the Doctor's voice.

"Nothing happened," replied the piper nonchalantly. "I found a kilt though." A chuckle echoed from inside the lift. "Ayye, wha's so funny?"

"I can see the pricetag on your 'kilt' Jamie," said the Doctor between giggles. "It says 'women's tartan skirt -on sale'."

Jamie bristled. "Do ye want to get oot of this cupboard or not, eh?"

The Doctor smiled and chirped, "Of course Jamie. I won't breathe another word to anyone about your...predicament if you'll not mention mine. Later that very day, when the Doctor and Jamie stood in front of the high council of the Time Lords once more - a member of the jury stepped down and examined the piper's back, his eyebrows climbing into his fringe. He almost reached to tear off the note, but the Doctor and his friend were too busy in their confrontation. Oh well, perhaps Jamie would see it later, that piece of paper with its untidy scrawl that said,

' _I'm wearing a skirt.' _


End file.
